How We Can Change the 'Bois Locker Room' Mentality
Let me state this right away.
If you're a Guy/Man/Dude/Bro, there's absolutely no way you can fathom the issues a woman goes through. I mean sure, you can try, but it's going to be a while till you get close.
You've probably read plenty about the 'Bois Locker Room', yeah? If you're not from India or haven't read about this topic, let me ELY5 (Explain like you're 5)
A few Indian Bois (literally underage) had created an Instagram group where they shared photos of girls (literally underage, without consent). They spoke about the girl's bodies like they were sexual objects, spoke about 'raping' them aaand it just goes downhill from there.
They were busted and it eventually got reported to the authorities, but that's not the point here. Sigh*
It's just so difficult to talk about it and watch society make no progress, but here goes-
1. Women/Girls in India have never been treated as equals
I honestly don't care if you're thinking of an outlier in your head and saying that the tides are changing. Don't think that your Colaba neighbour 'Lets' her daughter wear shorts and roam around in the night with boys can be used as a counter. That's one of the central problems here. We let some actions done by the privileged 1% (English speaking-Netflix watching-Sula Drinking) of society undermine the burgeoning 99% of our society's critical mass.
Let's face it. If you're a girl and want to wear shorts, go out with friends, drink a bit, and have sex, you most probably have to move away from home to another state. But if your brother/any guy wants to do the same, he can do the same and get away with no/little friction. The funny part? This is true for an 18-year-old girl and a 30-year-old woman.
2. Sex is 'paap'
A basic biological need of every human is, of course, denied to a woman. Right from a very young age, a girl undergoes intense training and counseling from her parents and the 'auntyz gang' (A secret 'Illuminati' gang that disperses 'intel' through WhatsApp groups, satsangs and community get-togethers below in the building every evening) on how to fend off all the unwarranted attention she's going to be receiving from the men that she will encounter. Not that they will try to sensitize the boys (Isn't that logically easier? Oh wait, 'Boys will be boys broo), but they will expect the victim to dodge minefields of creepy relatives, unclz, train/bus crowd all their life.
What's worse? Despite the above, 100% of my female friends have opened up to me about being molested at least once in their life.
Read that again- ATLEAST ONCE.
Despite all the 'watching over their shoulder' they did all their lives, coupled with the intel and safety training, some men out there still found out a way to scar these women psychologically for the rest of their lives. Slow claps*
A woman in India is expected to be a 'mint condition' collectible' for her husband and even the thought of a daughter holding hands with another man gives her parents SARS (Sanskari Acid Reflux Syndrome).
Does the family go through the same 'hardship' when they find out the same about their son, or do they do imaginary chest bumps with him because 'Mera beta aaj mard ban gaya'?
- I don't need to tell you the answer.
3. Pornography is a woman's best friend. Not.
Full disclosure, I'm not a saint. Till about three years ago I accessed it just like any other guy. But I read a few things at that time that really put me off it. And I haven't looked back since.
If you've ever accessed it, you know how porn is probably the best medium to really 'objectify' a woman. On a regular porn website, the only role of a woman in every video is to be an object of pleasure for a man. To make things worse, one of the most accessed genres is that of 'Rape fantasies'. I don't need to say anymore.
For most underage boys out there, as they enter 'that' age, where looking at girls starts giving them 'strange' feelings, elder boys and pornography is where they go for advice.
That's a pretty messed up arrangement because the 'said' elder boys also use pornography for their 'knowledge'. So that means that every generation of boys coming of age is being counseled by those 'gentle and respectful' visuals. That's all they've got because most parents are too shy to have 'The Talk' with their kids and Sex-Ed in school is a fucking joke.
This entire premise is a vicious circle and the vibe of #NotAllMen is the exact thing we don't need, but it's what we've been blessed with. As I explore this topic further with my fellow Sheeples and our first ever guest co-contributor (Wohooooo) Varshini, we're attempting to create a safe space where she can tell us first-hand the woes of a woman in the digital age. The two of us patiently try to understand where all women are coming from instead of recoiling into a defensive armored shell.
Come join us on the pod where we try to keep the momentum going on in an objective, unbiased manner. True to the vibe of a safe-space, we're having a conversation between all friends, all the fellow sheeples out there who too are willing to be objective and widen their perspective! :)
You can listen to our podcast here: https://bit.ly/learning-to-unlearn
This is Zee signing out! Until next time!