For the longest time, I found it very easy to fall in love with other people, with different places and things. But it was always hard to do the same for me. We are constantly sold the idea of self-love with everyone telling us “Hey, just love yourself!”, which always left me wondering, sure, but how?
We all have different insecurities, so much so that most of us have at a point felt like maybe we aren’t worthy of all the good things that come our way. I know I did, I always felt the pressure to be 'Perfect' and when I didn’t, I felt like I was failing.
After years of self-doubt and struggling to accept my imperfections, I made the effort to start loving myself more earlier this year and it’s been both great and bumpy. While I made a lot of progress, as someone diagnosed with anxiety, I realized every time I have a bad day, I would feel like I’m failing everyone and myself and all my progress was for nothing.
A few months ago, my therapist suggested this exercise of writing down affirmations to help me believe on my off days. Originally I was skeptical, I thought it wouldn't make a huge difference. Thankfully, I was wrong.
I started gratitude journaling every day and instead of just writing affirmations down, I felt creative and went one step further and set a few reminders on my phone, affirmations that are very specific to me that pop up at odd times around the day, every day.
Affirmations are generally used to reprogram your mind, to help us believe certain things about ourselves or our place in the world. For me, at times when my anxiety takes over and my brain betrays me, these affirmations were a way of me telling myself that I’m going to be okay. Affirmations are not about believing everything you write right away, it’s about that inner dialogue, it’s about viewing yourself and your life in a healthy positive way, and with time, you learn to internalize it, you tend to believe in yourself more.
I have different affirmations for different circumstances. Some reminders are about body image issues I constantly struggle with, some are about work, some about my personal life and insecurities. It may feel cliche at the beginning, but it reflects on how you feel about yourself, with time. When you tend to understand your worth and believe you deserve good things, you’re more likely to make conscious decisions that nurture your well-being. You want to show up for yourself, if not for anyone else and that changed my life.
I read a quote a long time ago, “falling in love with yourself is the first step of healing.” I didn’t necessarily understand it or believe it then, but I do now. Self-love is a hard process to navigate, It doesn’t come easy, there is no one formula, it takes time, patience, kindness, and effort, but practicing self-love has helped me grow and jump two steps higher in my journey of healing.
We show up deeply for everyone we love, why can’t we learn to show up for ourselves? We forgive others for being human, when will we forgive ourselves for being human? We celebrate the people around us with kindness and love, it’s time we learn to celebrate ourselves and be kind to our mind and our bodies, our home.
This is a kind reminder to you sheeples that you’re worthy of love, of forgiveness, of kindness, of good things, and of good people.
I asked myself a few months ago, “If everyone I truly unconditionally loved were put in a room, will I be in it?”
Ask yourselves, will you?
This is Varshini Raaj signing out.